Taking Care of You

Showing posts with label Awareness. Show all posts

TCOY Spotlight ~ KtotheB.com

Since I've got nothing worth saying right now to inspire you to grow your inner awareness, I thought I'd share Karen Bell's awesome insight with you. Karen, or "KB" as she is known, posts blog entries on her blog, Words of Wisdom for Inner Peace, and video posts on her YouTube channel.

On the blog, KB's "words of wisdom enable her readers to resolve difficulties from the past, define their highest purpose, and motivate them on the path of success". Her video blogs "help others realize the power of thought so they can live more fulfilling lives".

I enjoy reading and watching KB's work as she inspires me to remember that there is more to life than meets the eye. I'm reminded that we all have influence on those around us and it's my belief that I want to be a positive influence.

Here are a few of my favorite blog and video posts.

Make a Not-to-Do List

There Are No "Failed Relationships"

The Power of Focus

The Evolution of Consciousness

What You Are

From the list of video blogs currently available, The Force and How Thought Affects Your Body are my favorites.

You can also see the personal side of her as well by following KB on Twitter.

If you post a comment on the blog or send her a tweet to say hello, please let KB know that Suzanne over at TCOYou.com says "hello" as well!

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Heart Spotlight

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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TCOY Spotlight ~ Serenity Hacker

Our next TCOY Spotlight is shining on Serenity Hacker and, specifically, on Miche who is the creative mind behind the blog. As a very new blogger, I've enjoyed seeing Miche go from just dipping a toe in the blogosphere water to sharing much more of her insightful way of living.

Below, I've shared tidbits of my favorite posts; the first from May of 2009, when she had just begun, to very recent ones. You'll see what I mean about how she first started off slowly with 'simple personal development', such as weight loss hacks, and then began peeling back the layers so we could see the much deeper sense of awareness that she possesses.

By the way, when you reply to one of Miche's thought-provoking posts below over at Serenity Hacker, please be sure to tell her that Suzanne over at TCOYou.com says "hello". Even with her skyrocketing subscriber count, she's still not too busy to read every comment and say hi back. :-)

Writer's Note: Miche must have decided that the first 2 posts didn't contribute to where she wanted to redirect her blog's focus because they've been deleted from Serenity Hacker. I'm still including them though. (Update: Based upon this post, the first article has been republished and can be found here. Thank you, Miche! See, I told you....she's not too much of a superstar to read and respond!)

Smart Snacking: 10 Tips For Snacking Without Gaining Weight

3. Drink 8-12 oz of Water First
Drinking 8 oz of water before your snack will help you feel more full and will reduce how much you need to eat. So when you’re hankering for the snack, try to grab the water bottle first, drink at least 8 ounces, then go ahead and snack.

Well-Balanced Eating: Or How I Lost 14 Pounds In 3 Weeks Without Exercise

Don’t Call It A Diet!
A diet sounds like a restriction. It has negative connotations and wreaks of deprivation to me. This way of eating is full of abundance, and is actually a proper way to eat. We’ve been conditioned to think that our regular way of eating is okay and that eating right and healthy is “a diet”.

Stop Arguing

Instead of reacting, we can choose to respond. Responding involves actively listening and a heightened awareness of the triggers and feelings that arise within us during the argument. We must make the conscious choice not to act on those feelings and triggers and in doing so we stop reacting. Then we can be mindful, centered, and choose to respond. This takes a little practice and skill but can quickly diffuse an argument, and often avoid one altogether.

Dreams and Routines

Perhaps you’re at an in-between place, unsure of the future. Maybe there are circumstances preventing you from living life how you’d really like to. You still go about taking care of your obligations and chores, tasks and responsibilities, but life seems routine and uninspired. Goals begin to lose their luster and nothing seems energizing.

I know when I end up in this place, it means I’ve stopped creating. I’m not talking about creating in the traditional sense. I’m talking about the creativity required to consciously create the life you want, the one of your dreams, day by day, one moment at a time.

And I’m not talking about the big things here. They require lots of waiting and some of them may never happen. The biggest things, the things we might feel are lacking and are wishing for most, are really just symbols. Symbols for simpler, more meaningful experiences we can create right now. The stuff happiness is made of.

Making Big Changes: Energy and Resistance

First, it takes a lot of energy to keep the force of one of these meaningful changes at bay and out of our minds (which really doesn’t work, anyway). Next, we use the rest of our available energy trying to keep the familiar working for us, trying to keep the comfort in what has now become uncomfortable.

We choose the familiar because we think it’s easier, that it somehow doesn’t require effort and energy. And maybe at one time it didn’t. But now it does. Because when one of those Big Changes is born in our consciousness and brews there, every move we make to stay with the status quo, every amount of energy we expend not choosing that change, suppressing it and choosing instead our current routine, is extremely taxing.

We also think sticking with the familiar is choosing the path of least resistance. It’s not. It’s actually choosing the path of resistance itself. We’re holding back the force of that change on our minds and spirits, holding together our current unsatisfying circumstances, and all the while we’re scrambling to deny or hide from the discomfort all of this creates. The toll on our energy is enormous. All of our will power, all of our energy is directed at resisting, and that takes a lot of work. It’s why we feel so tired.

To see more of Miche's writing, and how it resonates with Taking Care Of Yourself by helping you grow your inner awareness, please consider subscribing to Serenity Hacker for the amazing insight still to come. I know I can't wait to see what she'll be inspiring me with next.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Heart Spotlight

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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You should follow me on twitter. There's even more good stuff on there about Taking Care Of You and you will get to know the personal side of me as well. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right so we can check you out!

Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You? It's easy to receive free updates by email or RSS.

Click SHARE to help spread the word about TCOYou.com. Please and thank you!

Half Year Celebrations

Grow your awareness to accept that life is just life; we are the ones who choose to look at it with a different perspective than that.

One of my favorite ways is to celebrate special days 6 months later for an infusion of freshness into day-to-day life.

Birthday	Do something small but special for someone on their half birthday to show you are thankful that they were born.
Independence Day	Instead of celebrating the USA's independence, celebrate YOUR independence ~ On January 4, fresh with the excitement of the real New Year's celebration still coursing through your system, mark today as the start of your independence, whether it be chemical independence, financial independence, job independence, relationship independence, etc.
Labor Day	In March, schedule a day off from work 6 months to the day from the last Labor Day holiday to use as you please--relaxing, family time, helping others, etc.
New Year's Eve/Day	On June 30/July 1, celebrate another "New Year" for you ~ complete with some celebrating on June 30th Eve, refocusing on your New Year's theme for the next 6 months (or even making a new one) and, most importantly, a feeling of excitement and anticipation for a fresh "restart" of your year.
Thanksgiving Day	In May, 6 months to the day from the last Thanksgiving Day holiday take a few moments to think about what you are thankful for in your life. Give yourself bonus points if you take action on those thoughts! Thankful for a person? Tell them. Thankful to be employed? Show it with a little extra effort at work that day. Thankful for having food to eat? Don't waste any food that day or donate any extra you have to a Food Bank.
Valentine's Day	Celebrate a "day of love" with the one you love on August 14.
Veteran's Day	In May, 6 months to the day from the last Veteran's Day holiday (at a time when they aren't expecting it or have heard it recently), send a note/care package to a soldier or tell a veteran "Thank you" for their service.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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Yes to a New Year's Theme and Gifts, Not Resolutions

At this time of year, many of us are thinking of the new year ahead and about changes we'd like to make in our lives or ourselves that we can put in a tidy package called a New Year's Resolution.

But I ask, why does January 1st have to feel much more important than May 7th or September 12th? Ah, I know...it's that itty bitty part of us that seeks perfection. The part that loves a very clear, very defined starting point and that loves to feel ignited by motivation. And what could be more motivating than starting something on the very first day of a brand new year?

I used to be that kind of New Year's Resolution maker...the one who met the new year bright eyed and excited with a list of life-changing resolutions in mind. Like this article says about the science behind failed resolutions, I mistakenly thought that I could follow through on that list of New Year's resolutions if only I had a bit more discipline. I even built in negative consequences to my resolution (like the money spent on a gym membership to ~~force~~ encourage me to like to exercise!)

So, in defiance I suppose, I have sworn off making any sorts of changes for the last few years just because I've brought out a new calendar. However, I admit, even the anti-resolution side of me has been a wee bit excited by all of the tweets, blog posts and articles I have let myself read lately.

Maybe that's because, in early 2009, I realized that life had lost its flavor and, by April, I had decided that I was ready to put myself in the line of priority, and right in front. I later realized that this was just my inner awareness coming back to me after having been in a depression funk for a few years. With the second half of 2009 devoted to taking care of me, and sharing what I've learned with you all as well, I'm feeling very motivated to continue and see how awesome I can make 2010.

Now that I'm excited and ready to meet a new year, with an attitude of making positive changes for as many of the next 365 days as possible, I will declare my New Year's Theme for 2010 to be: Take Care of Me...the full year version!

Here are the gifts I plan to give myself in the coming months. I truly hope I get to the big gift but otherwise I will just enjoy the stocking stuffers!

Taking care of my body by being kind to it
(enhancing my best traits on the outside and eating well to take care of me on the inside)

As Sally says it so succinctly:
This is the only body you've got.
Be kind to it.
Befriend it.
Work with it, not against it.
Care for it tenderly and you will be a much happier person.

Accepting the 365 Days of Decluttering Challenge for 2010

Clutter and unfinished projects around here don't stand a chance!

Continuing to live a cash-only lifestyle (started in 2009)

The new component this year will be to put money into a high-yield savings account every month that will become the money I spend on 2011 expenses. I’m tired of living paycheck-to-paycheck and will eventually be using money that’s spent a year gaining interest instead of new money that hasn’t!

To regain the inner peace I have lost during the past few years

I'm not ready to give any specifics on this one just yet.

What will your New Year's Theme be for 2010? What gifts are you going to give yourself over the coming months?

Below, I've listed some ideas to get you thinking. These were part of an email forward I received but do they ever work for new year, new you inspiration!

But, first, I would highly recommend you read Dani's insight on how to prepare for change and Leo's definitive guide to sticking to your New Year's Resolutions. They are definitely inspiring!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Themes ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Never borrow from the future.
(If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.)

Simplify and unclutter your life.

Develop a forgiving attitude.
(most people are doing the best they can)

Be kind to unkind people.
(they probably need it the most)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Gifts ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pray

Practice gratitude.
(Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.)

Go to bed on time.

Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

Delegate tasks to capable others.

Slow down.
Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

Pace yourself.
Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

Separate worries from concerns. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

Do something for the kid in you everyday.

Get enough rest.

Eat right.

Get organized so everything has its place.

Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

Write down thoughts and inspirations.

Sit on your ego.

Talk less; listen more.

Every day, find time to be alone.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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I Wish I Could Stop Doing This

Do you ever find yourself doing something, thinking something, eating something, etc. and think "I wish I could stop doing this"?

At the purest essence, this is your inner self wanting to take care of you.

As it's thought and felt, the message can get distorted in a negative way, such as self-loathing, guilt or hurt, etc. However, if you accept that these thoughts are good for you and view them with a positive eye, you will develop the ability to harness their power. And, believe me, they are extremely powerful. Allowing these triggers to promote self-growth will aid you in developing a more productive, positive and emotionally rich life. Imagine that.

Below are some basic steps to alter your behavior. For best results, only focus on one behavior at a time until all steps are complete.

Start off with clarity

To begin, you need to choose the area of your life where you will put your focus. Although, your mind may be swimming with a myriad of areas needling at you, urging for a change, and possibly multiplied by every flaw you have in that area also begging for attention, this is the time to zero in on "the one".

Do you need to start with a simple one so that you will not quit? Do you need to be very challenged to keep interest and must choose a hard one? What issue comes up often or causes unsatisfactory feelings? Everyone is different, so doing this step will give you insight on what makes you tick and where your focus deserves to be.

Define and refine "the change"

Wishing you could will only get you so far, and it's not very far at all. Once you have identified the area of change where you will put your focus, it's time to put the spotlight called your awareness on it so you can see it, I mean really see it--from every side, behind every shadow, etc.

First, take your area of change and put it into a sentence like the title of this post. Then, write it several ways like the example below.

I wish I could stop doing this.
(replace "doing this" with your own specific area of change)

I wish I would stop _______.

I will stop ______.

You will see that, although each way is only a bit different in sentence form, each is drastically different in how it affects our motivation and tolerance levels. Human nature can be fickle like that! How we choose to define one word or phrase may define the overall change as achievable or not from the start. Does it strike you as amazing that a simple word switch or two in our thoughts will have that much impact on deciding the entire outcome? It does to me.

Now that you've defined your change in a more constructive way, a more positive way, it's time to refine it.

Is it too vague? Will nearly every person who hears what your change is know what you mean? Do you even know exactly what you want? If not, tighten the focus so you can see what you're aiming at more clearly.

How real is it? Meaning, how bad do you want it? Are you doing this for yourself and not another? This is where the rubber meets the road. If you are expecting the change to deliver more than it possible can, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. And, if you are not doing this for you, similar disappointment will surely follow. Make this real to you, want it for you, and nothing else matters.

Does it have a clear end? Success will depend on whether or not you know what the end looks like and can tell if you've gotten there.

Develop the steps to your end result

To start any change in our behavior, you need to create an end result in your mind that is so incredibly strong that you can see it, feel it and maybe even taste, smell or hear it. During the process, this end result has to stay in your conscious mind so that you can savor what you are creating and to tell yourself "I'm almost there".

Finally, and most importantly in my opinion, we must identify what we think needs to happen to get us from here to there. This is no different than getting directions to your destination when driving, cooking something for dinner, etc. The difference this time is you are determining action steps to take that, one after the other, will get you to your desired end result. Some may call these "mini goals" or "checkpoints" or "success stops" (that's what I call them :-).

Viewing achievement of the end result as the only indicator of success or failure is, well, thinking too simple. There is a lot of life to live that can quite possibly get in our way between here and there. Defining success stops gives us many opportunities to celebrate victory or to have a clean start after a demoralizing effort. It also breaks up a goal that seems so huge it casts a shadow into smaller molehills. As long as we don't make a mountain out of any of the molehills, the end result will feel distinctly more attainable, easier and worth pursuing.

In addition, while working through the steps of action we will take, it will be possible to see pitfalls that we may encounter. That will be very important, as you will see below.

You've gotten ready, now get set

The last step before beginning, is to set up your life to minimize conflicts, thereby increasing your chance at success. While you prepared yourself mentally for the action steps you'd soon be taking, what did you notice that could stop you?

For some, it could be an unsupportive or demoralizing person who has influence on your life. Now is the time to reconcile that person's influence and, for this goal at least, to grow yourself to realize that this person's influence does not matter. You will not let it matter.

Or maybe you are unsure about beginning because you don't think you have time in your day to add one more thing. I just read something pretty wise by Corey of Simple Marriage on a guestpost called "How to Find More Time During the Day":

What if we replaced time focus with energy? Instead of looking at the day as a block of time, look at it as a finite amount of energy...You only have so much energy each day for the things in life.

If you displace energy on the immediate concerns rather than core priorities, life can be very chaotic and scattered...When you live life more in line with your core values, more energy for life is harnessed.

Go!

A brilliant, well thought-out plan is completely useless if it is not allowed to influence your life. Now is the time for you to stop thinking about, and start bringing about, this worthwhile change.

Go for it! Define and refine the area of your life that you will focus on changing. Develop the action steps you'll need to do to get you from here to there. Use awareness that you've gained about positive pitfalls that could stop you while taking steps towards your end result. All the while telling yourself, "I'm almost there!"

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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You should follow me on twitter. There's even more good stuff on there about Taking Care Of You and you will get to know the personal side of me as well. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right so we can check you out!

Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You? It's easy to receive free updates by email or RSS.

Click SHARE to help spread the word about TCOYou.com. Please and thank you!

The Power of My Choice

This month's Quote to Reflect Upon really spoke to me. Here it is for you to read again.

To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

Choosing is such a powerful concept. And one I remind myself of daily, as situations arise and I must choose how to feel, how to respond, how to cope, how to appreciate, etc. By gaining this awareness, I have freed myself of much torture by realizing my power; the power of my choice. I have used that power to break the habit of procrastination. I have used that power to appreciate each moment, just as it is, because the sum of it all is my life. I even use it to remind myself that life just is; I can choose to see it one way or another.

So, with all of that practice choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. I was surprised to find this pretty self aware person forgetting the power of her own choice. And, recently, it finally caught up to me. It seems that since my awareness was AWOL, life decided to put some smelling salts under my nose and get me to wake up!

The Wake Up Call
At work, I have always been the one to do more than expected, be better than the other choice, etc. And, understandably, the more responsible one is given the most work. Somehow, over time, I had allowed it to become a burden. Something I shouldered because it is just who I am. Last month, the burden became too much to carry. In fact, my fatigued muscles could no longer hold it and I dropped it.

A little background: I have one true boss but 2 separate jobs. The second job is actually managed by the asst. boss, so I run my work through him. This whole experience began by me uttering the words that are very hard for me to say. I told him, "It pains me to say that I can't do something, but I just can't." The surprised look on his face indicated that he really wasn't ready for steady Suzanne not to be able to handle it all. The encounter ended with me understanding that as he isn't my true boss, he wasn't going to do a thing about my concerns.

I actually planned to just keep plugging away and going on, same as before. However, for the days following that day, I would actually find my mood dropping noticeably as I pulled my car into the driveway at work. Events during the day that would normally frustrate me but be held in check were suddenly handled by this emotional basket case who couldn't 'keep it together' anymore. I had been overwhelmed by this burden for a year and a half but, all of the sudden, my insides were saying "Enough!"

With choice comes responsibility and I, somehow, forgot the responsibility I keep in high regard: the responsibility of taking care of me.

If You Don't Look Out for Yourself, Who Will?
I scheduled a meeting with my boss with the preface that I wanted my job duties reevaluated because unresolved workload issues had been building up and I was at a breaking point. And, as I don't like to present problems without possible solutions, I said that I specifically wanted to discuss removing one of the following from my area of responsibility: Job A (preferred) or Jobs B, C & D.

In the end, there were some great changes made and some rotten ones as well. Time will tell if this choice to stand up for myself will change their behavior in the future. As for me, I am thrilled to have finally woken up and remembered the power of my choice.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Just Breathe

Today, while taking the day's outgoing mail from our office to our mailbox (a bit of a walk as we are set back off the main road where the mailbox is), I did what I usually do. My first exposure outside of "fluorescent city" (as I call the building I work in) into the outdoors always makes me want to become aware of my breathing. As Leo Babauta shared on Simple Marriage, breathing can transform your life.

I use the walk to take long breaths, in and out, through my nose. As my mind focuses in on the breathing, I become aware of my shoulders dropping, losing some tension brought on by working at a computer. I become aware of other parts of my body feeling less heavy as my breaths are now longer, fuller, more nourishing to them.

Sometimes thoughts, usually relating to troublesome areas of my day or my life in general, will come up, do their mind dance and fade away. These are the same thoughts that have been causing me grief, yet now are just thoughts; the emotional tug is non-existent. Do you experience things like this and know what I mean? I can't find the words to describe it.

Regardless, for those few minutes, I am able to go outside of my emotions and just be. It's an incredibly short but powerful feeling that affects me in a positive way for the rest of the day.

Taking care of you is important. Every minute of your life is an opportunity for doing it! I found time for a TCOY 1 Minute Focus today.

Care to be an inspiration and share with us how you spent yours?

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Moving Forward Financially: Part 2

This post is part of the Fearless Living Series, whose posts serve to spotlight areas of your life where fear may be holding you back and to motivate you to find a plan to use in squelching that fear. As long as fear hinders or motivates you, Taking Care Of You will not be a priority in your life.

As Leo Babauta of Zen Habits said so well, "When you take action on a problem, it’s not so bad — it’s just a series of steps you need to take to solve the problem...The plan will kill the fear. It is taking something that is scary and unknown, and turning it into something concrete, solvable, doable."

Fear is such a life drainer. Do not give your power over to fear. Instead, use that fear as a catalyst to prompt you into action. Are you ready to take your power back and experience Taking Care Of You through fearless living?

I used to think of my employment as having to continually earn more money for me so I could spend more money. About the time that I began moving forward financially in my life, my awareness had also recently shifted. Now what I believe is that there is more to it than just that alone. I also am choosing what to spend my life energy on.

From Your Money or Your Life: Money is something we choose to trade our life energy for. Our life energy is our allotment of time here on earth, the hours of precious life available to us. When we go to our jobs we are trading our life energy for money. [...]

Our life energy is more real in our actual experience than money. You could even say money equals life energy. So, while money has no intrinsic reality, our life energy does — at least to us. It’s tangible, and it’s finite. Life energy is all we have. It is precious because it is limited and irretrievable and because our choices about how we use it express the meaning and purpose of our time here on Earth.

I've settled in to work for a non-profit company that is generally balanced between income, responsibilities and its impact on my own personal life. I'm working on clearing away the debt created from choosing to allow another to control my finances. I've realized that I feel secure when there is money in the bank that is just there to cover emergencies and that is there to fund my needs in the future (my first car without a car payment, hopefully!) My financial strategy has also moved past the day-to-day in regards to planning and saving for retirement.

In the first Moving Forward Financially post, your top priority was to take the time to appreciate who you were in the past, realize that the choices you made were the best you could do at the time and forgive yourself. This step is to sweep aside all of that past stuff and prepare yourself for moving forward. When it comes to your finances, there is no looking back at the job choices you've made, the money you've spent, etc. It's all past tense; there isn't anything you can do to change them. What you do have the ability to change is from today going forward.

At the end of the post, your 'assignment' was to use this new 'clean slate' feeling to decide on how you wished to proceed and decide on your plan for what comes next financially. Specifically, to do your research and look at the numerous methods for acquiring, saving and spending money so that you could find the financial strategy that does work for you---that motivates you, utilizes your strengths, does not work against you, etc.--and move forward on it!

If you still haven't yet poked around the internet a bit and tried to develop your own financial strategy, below are a few links that have helped me. Maybe they will give you the inspiration you need for moving forward.

My strategy is best said by J.D. Roth of Get Rich Slowly. Here it is.

It’s my belief that a strong personal economy is still built on fundamentals such as these:

Clear financial goals
An adequate emergency fund
Limited use of debt
The practice of thrift
Smart investing for the future

"If you don't have any financial objectives or goals, you'll likely spend most of your life aimlessly earning and spending and making little traction in the process", says Money Saving Mom Crystal Paine.

The following from Trent Hamm at The Simple Dollar is a 2-for-1 covering creating your own small emergency fund and eliminating/avoiding high interest debt. Be sure to follow the links in the post too!

Save more money by doing less using The Two-Headed Savings Approach by Ramit Sethi.

It may feel like you're throwing your money away but keep investing says Generation X Finance.

In conclusion, I leave you with Your Money: The Rules from It's Your Money! and Financial Serenity--The Missing Ingredient by Neal Frankle.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Fear In The Eye
Photo Credit: Moving On Up
Photo Credit: Thinking About Money

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Life Just Gets In The Way Sometimes

First, I must begin by apologizing for my sudden and complete abandonment of this blog and all things tied in to it (i.e. emails, twitter, etc.) It was not intentional and, somehow, even this "very aware" person didn't quite catch it until late in the game. If you're even reading this, then I know you haven't given up on me and will be here, ready to see what's coming up next. For that, THANK YOU so incredibly much.

Suzanne Fell Off the Face of the Earth...and Made It Back Around
In late July, the time between posts was spent working on producing new content, as usual, in my efforts to heighten the focus on Taking Care of You. As it sometimes happens, though, life got in the way soon thereafter. With my children starting school in late July (isn't that insanely early? anyways...), there was an adjustment period with my daughter beginning Kindergarten in "the big school" and with my son also going through an adjustment period as he began a new school year at the same school for the first time (he started there in late January 2009). Thankfully, all went well and they are settled in, loving their teachers and excited to be going to this school. Life is good.

My day job shifts into crazy overload from June through the end of August as we work with schools and the transition from one year to the next is pretty hectic. So, at the same time that my personal life was "crazy busy" (a saying I use in real life :-), the other area of my life where I am expected to be SuperWoman was in high gear. This year things there are in a new & different kind of upheaval and, my goodness, did handling that completely wipe me out! When I came home, I was mentally and physically exhausted. The physical part was surprising to me as I have a desk job. However, it did become obvious to me that during the whole day I was stressed, tense AND didn't move much at all (except what is necessary to operate a computer). That will do it alright.

So, for the first 3 weeks of August, I would come home, bond with my kids while talking about their school day, fall asleep on the couch, wake up to eat dinner & do household work (clean kitchen, put away clean laundry, etc.), get my kids ready for bed and then fall into my own bed...not to have "Me Time" as usual but to sleep so I had the energy to face another day.

With nagging regret, more and more days passed in August without having anything left to give the blog. I almost posted something small just to say "I'm still alive. Really overwhelmed right now. Be back soon."

But, for some reason, pride wouldn't let me make that a permanent part of this blog. I even took the time to really contemplate why that was. Am I afraid of appearing to be 'unprofessional' about managing my blog because this part-time blogger can't even keep that up? Is it because I felt that just popping on here for a second would lead to making my quick post turn into a long one and I didn't have time/energy for that? If you saw that and realized it was just my perfectionism sneaking out and going unchecked, then good job! :-)

What's Next?
Now we are at the end of this crazy story. And, when someone is lost, there comes a time to determine "Where do I go from here?"

Do I give up?
Do I hold a pity party for myself?
Do I perserve?

I've had time to think about it and here's my decision. As I am starting a new month with not even a single post written, I am a little behind. Getting back into blogger mode may take a bit of time, but absence has made the heart grow fonder, so I'm eager to get back into my work here at Taking Care of You. I will not allow my problem with perfectionism to use this interruption as reason to quit. I will not whine about how hard it is to be me. I will not quit.

This month's Quote to Reflect Upon has been one I've had saved for awhile. When I was choosing this month's quote, the bells & sirens were going off as I read it. For you see, an event like this just happened. I'll write more about a recent wake up call that occurred to remind me of the power of my choice. Stay tuned...

TCOY Spotlight ~ The Darkworker Experiment

Recently, I put the TCOY spotlight on a blog that I've read for quite awhile and have always admired (SimpleMarriage.net), both for my own growth and how it helps us all to focus on taking care of ourselves.

Now I'm going to spin it around onto a website I just found, via a most indirect way...the title of one of its articles was included in a comment on another blog. The post the comment related to and the title of the post the comment included deeply intrigued me.

So, after turning to my pal G, I located the article and began a new journey. Usually, the personal development websites/blogs I read are happy and uplifting. This one was not; it was cynical and dark. I continued reading because within its words were messages I needed to read. They had been crafted as to not appeal to that "light side" as others were, yet they still engaged and enlightened my mind.

Without further ado, I introduce you to The Darkworker Experiment.

Below are articles linked on the page above. Although you may have followed the links while reading the post above, I've included them below as stand-alone references because I believe they are that important.

A Darkworker Arises

If the two posts above have peaked your interest and the writer's wit & style of humor is something you enjoyed (or at least didn't reject), then read the following posts to go a little further into their experiment. I warn you...this is when it does get a little darker but well worth the time to read.

What is a Darkworker?

Why You Should Love Yourself?

Speaker for the Dead
Although this page is still under construction, there's wisdom in the following words: Because Darkworkers live each moment like it was their last. When you accept death, you conquer life.

And, lastly, I've included the post below just for your information...as it was my first introduction to The Darkworker Experiment. You were introduced a lot more slowly than I was, lucky you. ;-)

The Types of Nemesis
(If you're interested, the backlink on the bottom is the post that led me to the Darkworker Experiment.)

Now, as in life, things have come full circle. Hope you enjoyed your walk in the shadows. Maybe you've enjoyed it so much you plan to continue or maybe, like me, you returned to the light and gulped in the brightness that met you. I missed you light side. When I left you, I was complacent. Now, at least, I appreciate you again.

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Is a question lingering on your mind? What are your thoughts on this topic?
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Fearless Living: Moving Forward Financially

Doing Anything Is Better Than Nothing
Something I've heard before keeps coming to mind: If we keep doing what we're doing, we'll keep getting what we've got. I don't know if the attribution I found was correct but I'm sure you might have heard something similar before. It's a simple statement that serves to remind us that action produces results.

What results are your current actions producing?

Are you just getting by?
Are you feeling so overwhelmed that you ignore every chance that comes up allowing you to proceed down a different financial path?
Are you working a plan that is working well for you?
Are you afraid?

Ah, there's the truth; fear stops you from taking action on handling your finances. Each of us will not share the exact same fear, however, most of us live with some sort of fear about money. Do you fear not having enough? Or fear that you can't recover from the mismanagement you've done to date? Is your fear that you should be doing better managing your investments? Or fear the responsibility of managing it at all?

The Only Thing Stopping You Is You
For every contradiction that you could provide to that statement, I could counter each one. However, it would be a useless exercise because each stems from that same belief; the only thing stopping you from moving forward financially is you.

For example, here are a few common thoughts we use as roadblocks:

Waiting for "the right time"...No such thing exists.
Worrying about the perceptions of others...You are only responsible for yourself and accountable to yourself.
Life is unfair...Life is just biology; you are the one that defines it in any other way.

I could go on but have you gotten my drift? It's all in the way you look at it. The way you perceive things becomes the way things are, in your mind. Why not look at things with a positive spin?

What Do I Mean By Moving Forward Financially?

Just that. When it comes to your finances, there is no looking back at the job choices you've made, the money you've spent, etc. It's all past tense; there isn't anything you can do to change them. What you do have the ability to change is from today going forward.

Your top priority is to appreciate who you were, realize that the choices you made were the best you could do at the time and forgive yourself. Although looking back may feel like you are moving backwards, you are not. You are simply showing yourself love, patience and grace. This step is to sweep aside all of that past stuff and prepare yourself for moving forward. Do not keep rehashing the past because that will not, I repeat not, ever move you forward.

The present is all you need concern yourself with and this "in the moment thinking" will make you unstoppable, if you allow it.

Think about it. If you move forward with the thoughts and feelings of love for yourself and the positive feelings of excitement towards where you are heading, why would you even want to create those roadblocks? Instead, you will more likely only see bumps that might need a little navigating to get over, under or around but will never block you.

Find Your Plan and Move Forward
Where you go from here is up to you. What is your plan? Are you going to ease into this change through a babystep approach by choosing a small first step to work on and proceed slowly from there? Are you going to create a megalist of everything that needs changing and start working down the list? Maybe you're somewhere in the middle. Regardless, as long as you realize that the only "must do" is to move forward, you will be successful.

After deciding on your basic strategy, do your research and look at the numerous methods for acquiring, saving and spending money. Find the financial strategy that does work for you---that motivates you, utilizes your strengths, does not work against you, etc.--and move forward on it!

If you give it some time and find that the strategy you are pursing does not suit you as well as you'd thought, repeat the process. Life is not stagnant. It has an ebb and flow; a changing of seasons. A plan that is not working for you is a signal for a new season to begin. Recognize it and continue to move forward.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Fear In The Eye
Photo Credit: Dollar Sign In Eye

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Introducing: the Fearless Living Series

It is said that the opposite of fear is love. As long as fear hinders or motivates you, Taking Care Of You will not be a priority in your life.

To me...
Love is secure. Fear is anxious.
Love is accepting. Fear is rejecting.
Love is receptive. Fear is close-minded.

Fear has its place in life, however, it is you who allows it to have the power it does or not have. For the most part, fearless people do know and feel fear. However, they do not give their power over to the fear. Instead, the fear is a catalyst that prompts action.

From Zen Habits:

"When you take action on a problem, it’s not so bad — it’s just a series of steps you need to take to solve the problem. You aren’t paralyzed anymore when you start to take action...The plan will kill the fear. It is taking something that is scary and unknown, and turning it into something concrete, solvable, doable."

This is a great post that presented the issue of fears lurking in our mind AND what to do about it. Love that.

It also illustrates the philosophy I believe in. I've begun to recite Leo's words, "The plan will kill the fear", when trying to sell the concept of continuing to move forward, even if fearful, to myself and to others.

In upcoming posts called the "Fearless Living Series", I'll spotlight areas of our life where fear may be holding us back and outline possible plans to use in squelching that fear.

Fear is such a life drainer. Take your power back and experience Taking Care Of You through fearless living.

Quality Relationships (you + me)

Humans need quality relationships. Typically, we think of a mate, companion or spouse when we think of relationships. However, I believe it to be true that we need quality relationships in all areas of our life--a mate, our family, friends, teachers, mentors, etc.

I believe there is someone out there for everyone. My purpose for this blog is to be someone for you; to fulfill an area of your life with a quality relationship. Perhaps, I can be a source of inspiration or an enlightened acquaintance. Regardless of the relationship "title" you give me, my intent is to contribute to living your life FORWARD.

To live your life FORWARD, one can acknowledge and appreciate the past. However, the past is not allowed to overwhelm our present and future. Today and beyond is all that requires our concern.

Now, I am not a trained mental health professional nor am I a writer. So why do I feel that it is important to share myself and my thoughts with you? Quite simply, I want to contribute to the growth in awareness of our inner selves. Coming from that awareness is the important action of taking care of ourselves. Something that I feel many of us do poorly; each of us in our own way, of course.

Even I Have Forgotten to Take Care of Me
The beginning of my focus on taking care of myself happened when life lost its flavor. Each day didn't feel important -- just wake up, go to work, take care of others, go to sleep and repeat. Pretty much, it was manifested in the desire to focus on others first, and for me to receive the leftover scraps of attention, love and care.
I realized that the most important quality relationship in my life is with myself and that life is way too short to go through it on auto-pilot!

With this realization, life became very unsatisfying. For a time, that was depressing I'll tell you. However, I'm a very self-aware person so it didn't stay this way for long. I realized that I had been waiting for others to take care of me and, no matter how long I waited or how much I tried to let them know what I needed, I wasn't getting it.

Step by step, I developed a stronger sense of inner awareness. I began bringing myself up higher in the line of priority. First, I did this by just becoming more aware of it all. Then, by measurably changing, adding or subtracting whatever in my life did not align with this endeavor. Eventually, I began sharing who I have become with others, while still continuing to grow.

Why Use Your Time to Read What I Write?
If you believe that you are too-overwhelmed, too-tired, too-stressed, too-something to attend to the need of a quality relationship with yourself, then this is for you. If you didn't even know that you had an inner self, I would be glad to introduce it to you. If you are always willing to learn more than you know right this minute, I'll be here, posting on topics that focus on taking care of you and growing your inner awareness.

By inviting you to come along, I plan to strengthen the inner awareness of us both. Are you ready to focus on Taking Care Of You? I know I am.

Taking Care Of You (TCOY)

Developing an enhanced awareness of yourself is what this blog is all about. Putting yourself in the line of priority, and right in front, is not selfish thinking but rather just thinking proactively. There is no better person to know, understand or believe in than you.

Doesn't it make sense to spend time deepening the relationship with your inner self? Depending on who you are, there may be a lot you didn't know!

Believe Me, It Needs Reinforcement
I chose my blog's title to emphasize a concept I hold to be vital. Unfortunately, taking care of yourself isn’t something that is likely to come naturally. Much like the flight safety announcement telling you that in the event of a crash you must first put on your own oxygen mask and then help others, the concept of taking care of us first needs reminding, as it is most important.

Think about it.

How can we show a deep level of love, attention and care to others if we haven't practiced it on ourselves? If we do not provide nourishment to our own mind/body/soul, we are not able to give as much as we could to everyone else and it will take more effort to do so as well. Isn't it hypocritical to not "start at home" as it were?

Don’t Be A Teacher
Besides showing a great example to others in our sphere of influence, TCOY sets up a stable foundation for authentic happiness and life fulfillment. Knowing yourself and having your needs met by you, rather than relying on an outside source, brings a healthier you into every relationship as well.

Hand in hand with these concepts is the belief that Taking Care Of You is important because you can do it better than anyone else.

As the saying goes, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach”. My purpose here in all of this is to remind you that you “can” and empower you to “do”, rather than you spending a lifetime attempting to teach others how to take care of you (with less than optimal results most times, I might add).

It's TCOY Time
We read blogs about taking care of our home, our finances, our pets, our children, our marriage (or significant other relationships)…and on and on.

Worthwhile reading, I agree. It’s time to focus on taking care of ourselves now; it’s TCOY time.

Taking Care Of You

...because you can do it better than anyone else!

Taking Care of You

TCOY Spotlight ~ KtotheB.com

TCOY Spotlight ~ Serenity Hacker

Half Year Celebrations

Yes to a New Year's Theme and Gifts, Not Resolutions

I Wish I Could Stop Doing This

Start off with clarity

Define and refine "the change"

Develop the steps to your end result

You've gotten ready, now get set

Go!

The Power of My Choice

Just Breathe

Moving Forward Financially: Part 2

Life Just Gets In The Way Sometimes

TCOY Spotlight ~ The Darkworker Experiment

Fearless Living: Moving Forward Financially

Introducing: the Fearless Living Series

Quality Relationships (you + me)

Taking Care Of You (TCOY)

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