Yes to a New Year's Theme and Gifts, Not Resolutions

At this time of year, many of us are thinking of the new year ahead and about changes we'd like to make in our lives or ourselves that we can put in a tidy package called a New Year's Resolution.

But I ask, why does January 1st have to feel much more important than May 7th or September 12th? Ah, I know...it's that itty bitty part of us that seeks perfection. The part that loves a very clear, very defined starting point and that loves to feel ignited by motivation. And what could be more motivating than starting something on the very first day of a brand new year?

I used to be that kind of New Year's Resolution maker...the one who met the new year bright eyed and excited with a list of life-changing resolutions in mind. Like this article says about the science behind failed resolutions, I mistakenly thought that I could follow through on that list of New Year's resolutions if only I had a bit more discipline. I even built in negative consequences to my resolution (like the money spent on a gym membership to force encourage me to like to exercise!)

So, in defiance I suppose, I have sworn off making any sorts of changes for the last few years just because I've brought out a new calendar. However, I admit, even the anti-resolution side of me has been a wee bit excited by all of the tweets, blog posts and articles I have let myself read lately.

Maybe that's because, in early 2009, I realized that life had lost its flavor and, by April, I had decided that I was ready to put myself in the line of priority, and right in front. I later realized that this was just my inner awareness coming back to me after having been in a depression funk for a few years. With the second half of 2009 devoted to taking care of me, and sharing what I've learned with you all as well, I'm feeling very motivated to continue and see how awesome I can make 2010.

Now that I'm excited and ready to meet a new year, with an attitude of making positive changes for as many of the next 365 days as possible, I will declare my New Year's Theme for 2010 to be: Take Care of Me...the full year version!

Here are the gifts I plan to give myself in the coming months. I truly hope I get to the big gift but otherwise I will just enjoy the stocking stuffers!

Taking care of my body by being kind to it (enhancing my best traits on the outside and eating well to take care of me on the inside)

As Sally says it so succinctly:
This is the only body you've got.
Be kind to it.
Befriend it.
Work with it, not against it.
Care for it tenderly and you will be a much happier person.

Accepting the 365 Days of Decluttering Challenge for 2010

Clutter and unfinished projects around here don't stand a chance!

Continuing to live a cash-only lifestyle (started in 2009)

The new component this year will be to put money into a high-yield savings account every month that will become the money I spend on 2011 expenses. I’m tired of living paycheck-to-paycheck and will eventually be using money that’s spent a year gaining interest instead of new money that hasn’t!

To regain the inner peace I have lost during the past few years

I'm not ready to give any specifics on this one just yet.

What will your New Year's Theme be for 2010? What gifts are you going to give yourself over the coming months?

Below, I've listed some ideas to get you thinking. These were part of an email forward I received but do they ever work for new year, new you inspiration!

But, first, I would highly recommend you read Dani's insight on how to prepare for change and Leo's definitive guide to sticking to your New Year's Resolutions. They are definitely inspiring!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Themes ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Never borrow from the future.
(If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.)

Simplify and unclutter your life.

Develop a forgiving attitude.
(most people are doing the best they can)

Be kind to unkind people.
(they probably need it the most)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Gifts ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pray

Practice gratitude.
(Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.)

Go to bed on time.

Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

Delegate tasks to capable others.

Slow down.
Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

Pace yourself.
Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

Separate worries from concerns. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

Do something for the kid in you everyday.

Get enough rest.

Eat right.

Get organized so everything has its place.

Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

Write down thoughts and inspirations.

Sit on your ego.

Talk less; listen more.

Every day, find time to be alone.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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Take Care Of Yourself By Reaching Out

To date we've identified the need to build quality relationships, to balance our roles in this world and to clear away stuff that clutters our lives. However, in this me-centered world, it may be a surprise to think about the following: others are important too.

Today, reach out and thank someone meaningful in your life.

• A coworker who makes the work day more enjoyable (or bearable :-)

• Your child for telling you a story about their day and making you laugh

• An "A" friend who doesn't need to hear it because they already know it

• An online friend (that you may never meet in real life) but who does provide substance nearly every day to your real life

• A parent for still loving and supporting you (not literally, hopefully)...even after the childhood days when "they couldn't own nice things" because money was tight or for fear of the kids breaking it, those crazy teenage years for whatever you did, the early adulthood years spent figuring this whole adult thing out, etc.

• Your spouse for ___ (specific to their love language and how they express it...such as "saying 'I love you' before we go to sleep", "hugging me when I talk about a difficult part of my day", or even "taking out the trash so the kitchen won't smell")

Doing an action that reminds you of the good stuff in your life will help you strengthen your focus on Taking Care Of Yourself in a thoroughly positive way.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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You should follow me on twitter. There's even more good stuff on there about Taking Care Of You and you will get to know the personal side of me as well. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right so we can check you out!

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I Wish I Could Stop Doing This

Do you ever find yourself doing something, thinking something, eating something, etc. and think "I wish I could stop doing this"?

At the purest essence, this is your inner self wanting to take care of you.

As it's thought and felt, the message can get distorted in a negative way, such as self-loathing, guilt or hurt, etc. However, if you accept that these thoughts are good for you and view them with a positive eye, you will develop the ability to harness their power. And, believe me, they are extremely powerful. Allowing these triggers to promote self-growth will aid you in developing a more productive, positive and emotionally rich life. Imagine that.

Below are some basic steps to alter your behavior. For best results, only focus on one behavior at a time until all steps are complete.

Start off with clarity

To begin, you need to choose the area of your life where you will put your focus. Although, your mind may be swimming with a myriad of areas needling at you, urging for a change, and possibly multiplied by every flaw you have in that area also begging for attention, this is the time to zero in on "the one".

Do you need to start with a simple one so that you will not quit? Do you need to be very challenged to keep interest and must choose a hard one? What issue comes up often or causes unsatisfactory feelings? Everyone is different, so doing this step will give you insight on what makes you tick and where your focus deserves to be.

Define and refine "the change"

Wishing you could will only get you so far, and it's not very far at all. Once you have identified the area of change where you will put your focus, it's time to put the spotlight called your awareness on it so you can see it, I mean really see it--from every side, behind every shadow, etc.

First, take your area of change and put it into a sentence like the title of this post. Then, write it several ways like the example below.

I wish I could stop doing this.
(replace "doing this" with your own specific area of change)

I wish I would stop _______.

I will stop ______.

You will see that, although each way is only a bit different in sentence form, each is drastically different in how it affects our motivation and tolerance levels. Human nature can be fickle like that! How we choose to define one word or phrase may define the overall change as achievable or not from the start. Does it strike you as amazing that a simple word switch or two in our thoughts will have that much impact on deciding the entire outcome? It does to me.

Now that you've defined your change in a more constructive way, a more positive way, it's time to refine it.

Is it too vague? Will nearly every person who hears what your change is know what you mean? Do you even know exactly what you want? If not, tighten the focus so you can see what you're aiming at more clearly.

How real is it? Meaning, how bad do you want it? Are you doing this for yourself and not another? This is where the rubber meets the road. If you are expecting the change to deliver more than it possible can, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. And, if you are not doing this for you, similar disappointment will surely follow. Make this real to you, want it for you, and nothing else matters.

Does it have a clear end? Success will depend on whether or not you know what the end looks like and can tell if you've gotten there.

Develop the steps to your end result

To start any change in our behavior, you need to create an end result in your mind that is so incredibly strong that you can see it, feel it and maybe even taste, smell or hear it. During the process, this end result has to stay in your conscious mind so that you can savor what you are creating and to tell yourself "I'm almost there".

Finally, and most importantly in my opinion, we must identify what we think needs to happen to get us from here to there. This is no different than getting directions to your destination when driving, cooking something for dinner, etc. The difference this time is you are determining action steps to take that, one after the other, will get you to your desired end result. Some may call these "mini goals" or "checkpoints" or "success stops" (that's what I call them :-).

Viewing achievement of the end result as the only indicator of success or failure is, well, thinking too simple. There is a lot of life to live that can quite possibly get in our way between here and there. Defining success stops gives us many opportunities to celebrate victory or to have a clean start after a demoralizing effort. It also breaks up a goal that seems so huge it casts a shadow into smaller molehills. As long as we don't make a mountain out of any of the molehills, the end result will feel distinctly more attainable, easier and worth pursuing.

In addition, while working through the steps of action we will take, it will be possible to see pitfalls that we may encounter. That will be very important, as you will see below.

You've gotten ready, now get set

The last step before beginning, is to set up your life to minimize conflicts, thereby increasing your chance at success. While you prepared yourself mentally for the action steps you'd soon be taking, what did you notice that could stop you?

For some, it could be an unsupportive or demoralizing person who has influence on your life. Now is the time to reconcile that person's influence and, for this goal at least, to grow yourself to realize that this person's influence does not matter. You will not let it matter.

Or maybe you are unsure about beginning because you don't think you have time in your day to add one more thing. I just read something pretty wise by Corey of Simple Marriage on a guestpost called "How to Find More Time During the Day":

What if we replaced time focus with energy? Instead of looking at the day as a block of time, look at it as a finite amount of energy...You only have so much energy each day for the things in life.


If you displace energy on the immediate concerns rather than core priorities, life can be very chaotic and scattered...When you live life more in line with your core values, more energy for life is harnessed.

Go!

A brilliant, well thought-out plan is completely useless if it is not allowed to influence your life. Now is the time for you to stop thinking about, and start bringing about, this worthwhile change.

Go for it! Define and refine the area of your life that you will focus on changing. Develop the action steps you'll need to do to get you from here to there. Use awareness that you've gained about positive pitfalls that could stop you while taking steps towards your end result. All the while telling yourself, "I'm almost there!"

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!


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You should follow me on twitter. There's even more good stuff on there about Taking Care Of You and you will get to know the personal side of me as well. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right so we can check you out!

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TCOY 30 Day Focus

Hopefully, what you've read at TCOYou.com has grown your awareness and you, too, believe that Taking Care Of You is important. However, too much thinking about and not enough action leads to unhappiness, I say. It's time for action!

Which area of your life is most in need of some attention or what topic here has interested you? The one area that stands out the most is what I'd suggest that you choose for your 30 Day Focus. This is a commitment to one self-improvement goal for 30 days.

Set Yourself Up For Success
The typical type of 30 day plan, doing the same thing each day in order to build the habit, isn't successful for many because of boredom, taking on too much too fast and perfectionism, among other factors. I want to share a plan with you that can set you up for success by utilizing the power of time.

OK, let's pretend that your goal is to practice self-care. Here is how your 30 Day Focus would work.

Week 1 - Brush Teeth Every Day
For this week, you want to start super easy. My suggestion is to pick something that you do everyday anyway. It's what I call a 'small win'. It's not life changing at all, however, it gets us 1/4 of the way done and that feels good!

Week 2 - Moisturize Your Face Each Morning (or Night)
Now you are going to utilize a strength to start building momentum. This is something that you can do pretty easily but may not be something you do habitually already.

Week 3 - Do A TCOY 1 Minute Focus Every Day
By this week, you are feeling good about this whole goal thing. You are halfway through and haven't come up against anything hard yet. If the boredom came on, it was the last day or near to it, so it was easier to keep plugging along to the end. Time to utilize a less reliable strengthener this week; one that is in the area of your focus and maybe a bit hard if you don't do it regularly.

Week 4 (and remaining days) - Drink 8 oz of Water 30 minutes Before Dinner
Sounds easy enough, right? This is most likely not part of your day-to-day routine already, though, so it will take more focus to remember to 1) even do it at all and 2) plan ahead of your meal and drink the water 30 minutes ahead of time.

However, this is the final one for a reason. Consider if this was the goal for the whole time. Can you imagine how defeated a perfectionist would be the first or second time it is forgotten? Or if this was a goal you tried just because you saw it mentioned in a weight loss article and decided it was time to do something about that extra weight. Without the leading into it parts of weeks 1-3, this would be a great change that was 'too much, too soon' and most likely not a change that would stick.

The TCOY 30 Day Focus utilizes small periods of time, just seven days, to spend on a micro-goal. With the micro-goal changing week-to-week, the mind is less likely to become bored. It's also less likely to decide to quit due to the frustration of a missed day...because you have 4 different weeks to go for that beloved 'perfect result'! Using small wins, as in really easy changes, in the beginning also help to set up you up for success over the length of the goal. A goal that your more likely to finish and keep you engaged the whole time.

Other focus ideas:

Building A Better Sleep Routine
1 = Start a before bed routine (alerts your body to start getting ready to wind down for the day)
2 = Do your routine at a certain time each night
3 = Going to bed at a certain time (stage of tiredness would be even better for your body!)
4 = Waking at a certain time

Learning to Eat Breakfast
1 = Hydrating your body 1st thing in the morning (drink 8 oz. of water within 15 minutes of waking up)
2 = Eat a serving of 1 food group within 2 hours of waking up
3 = Eat a serving of 2 food groups within 2 hours of waking up
4 = Eat a serving of 3 food groups within 2 hours of waking up

These ideas are just to get your mind thinking about the powerful effect of small changes leading to a big result. If you think of other ideas, please share!

Also, please remember, nothing is a waste of time if you are doing something towards the area of your focus because even the littlest step is progress. Habits are built whether we are choosing them or not!

Our greatest enemy is ourselves, our perfectionism. You only fail if you never make the attempt. Are you ready?

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

__________________________________________________________________

You should follow me on twitter. There's even more good stuff on there about Taking Care Of You and you will get to know the personal side of me as well. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right so we can check you out!

Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You? It's easy to receive free updates by email or RSS.

Click SHARE to help spread the word about TCOYou.com. Please and thank you!

Choose to Think Positive

The Quote to Reflect Upon for June was "As you think, so shall you become." I recite this to myself when I'm leaning too far to the negative side of life. I don't believe that I control life, though I do control my own thoughts...and I believe quite firmly that it's important to choose to think positive. Choosing to think positive will actually cause you to feel and act more positive, if you let it.

From My Life's Work:

Our thoughts and words have tremendous creative power in them...

It would be prudent for all of us to ensure that we have a very clear, concise and organized positive mindset. We have to treat our thoughts as if they will manifest themselves, because they always do!

From Law of Attraction Lifestyle (note: I'm not advocating the theory...I just appreciate the truth in the following thoughts.):

In a nutshell, the law of polarity states that nothing can exist in our world without its direct opposite.

...Understanding this principle allows us to make sense of all of our experiences by knowing there is an opposite present in everything that happens in our life. And this 'opposite' presents us an opportunity to experience the good in what happens to us.

Within every problem there is a solution. Within every failure there is a success. Within every heartache there's a joy. You must raise your 'awareness' to look for the answers when a problem presents itself or you experience a failure or loss.

Don't Survive, Thrive!
I will admit that, in its most basic essence, thinking negative has been beneficial to our survival. We fear what will happen to us and our progeny tomorrow, thereby aligning ourselves with that fear of the unknown to attempt to minimize whatever bad stuff the day may bring.

We think about...

...hunger. (spending our money on more food than we require to sustain life; especially true for many of us who lead very low activity or sedentary lives)

...financial instability. (saving money for a rainy day)

...scarcity. (feeling unsatisfied with life because we are wanting more, bigger, better)

...death. (promoting "living like there is no tomorrow")

Survival is good, yes. However, thinking positive allows you to experience more without needing to utilize the unsatisfactory experience of seeking more.

As I say to myself, "I don't want to just survive; I want to thrive".

Stay Focused On What You Want, Not What You Don't
Crazy enough, we humans believe that negative thinking will get us farther. An example of this is when we constantly think about what we do not want.

I don't want to get fat so I had better diet.
vs.
I will eat nutritious food. My body's needs will be in balance and there will be no extra to store.

I don't want to be tired tomorrow so I had better get to bed now.
vs.
My body is signaling that it's tired. I will stay tuned in to my body's needs and let it rest.

Thinking positive leads to positive action. Positive action is how we move forward. Taking Care of You is all about moving forward.

Kinda simple how that works out. ;-)

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Taking Care Of You (TCOY)

Developing an enhanced awareness of yourself is what this blog is all about. Putting yourself in the line of priority, and right in front, is not selfish thinking but rather just thinking proactively. There is no better person to know, understand or believe in than you.

Doesn't it make sense to spend time deepening the relationship with your inner self? Depending on who you are, there may be a lot you didn't know!

Believe Me, It Needs Reinforcement
I chose my blog's title to emphasize a concept I hold to be vital. Unfortunately, taking care of yourself isn’t something that is likely to come naturally. Much like the flight safety announcement telling you that in the event of a crash you must first put on your own oxygen mask and then help others, the concept of taking care of us first needs reminding, as it is most important.

Think about it.

How can we show a deep level of love, attention and care to others if we haven't practiced it on ourselves? If we do not provide nourishment to our own mind/body/soul, we are not able to give as much as we could to everyone else and it will take more effort to do so as well. Isn't it hypocritical to not "start at home" as it were?

Don’t Be A Teacher
Besides showing a great example to others in our sphere of influence, TCOY sets up a stable foundation for authentic happiness and life fulfillment. Knowing yourself and having your needs met by you, rather than relying on an outside source, brings a healthier you into every relationship as well.

Hand in hand with these concepts is the belief that Taking Care Of You is important because you can do it better than anyone else.

As the saying goes, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach”. My purpose here in all of this is to remind you that you “can” and empower you to “do”, rather than you spending a lifetime attempting to teach others how to take care of you (with less than optimal results most times, I might add).

It's TCOY Time
We read blogs about taking care of our home, our finances, our pets, our children, our marriage (or significant other relationships)…and on and on.

Worthwhile reading, I agree. It’s time to focus on taking care of ourselves now; it’s TCOY time.

Taking Care Of You

...because you can do it better than anyone else!