TCOY 30 Day Focus

Hopefully, what you've read at TCOYou.com has grown your awareness and you, too, believe that Taking Care Of You is important. However, too much thinking about and not enough action leads to unhappiness, I say. It's time for action!

Which area of your life is most in need of some attention or what topic here has interested you? The one area that stands out the most is what I'd suggest that you choose for your 30 Day Focus. This is a commitment to one self-improvement goal for 30 days.

Set Yourself Up For Success
The typical type of 30 day plan, doing the same thing each day in order to build the habit, isn't successful for many because of boredom, taking on too much too fast and perfectionism, among other factors. I want to share a plan with you that can set you up for success by utilizing the power of time.

OK, let's pretend that your goal is to practice self-care. Here is how your 30 Day Focus would work.

Week 1 - Brush Teeth Every Day
For this week, you want to start super easy. My suggestion is to pick something that you do everyday anyway. It's what I call a 'small win'. It's not life changing at all, however, it gets us 1/4 of the way done and that feels good!

Week 2 - Moisturize Your Face Each Morning (or Night)
Now you are going to utilize a strength to start building momentum. This is something that you can do pretty easily but may not be something you do habitually already.

Week 3 - Do A TCOY 1 Minute Focus Every Day
By this week, you are feeling good about this whole goal thing. You are halfway through and haven't come up against anything hard yet. If the boredom came on, it was the last day or near to it, so it was easier to keep plugging along to the end. Time to utilize a less reliable strengthener this week; one that is in the area of your focus and maybe a bit hard if you don't do it regularly.

Week 4 (and remaining days) - Drink 8 oz of Water 30 minutes Before Dinner
Sounds easy enough, right? This is most likely not part of your day-to-day routine already, though, so it will take more focus to remember to 1) even do it at all and 2) plan ahead of your meal and drink the water 30 minutes ahead of time.

However, this is the final one for a reason. Consider if this was the goal for the whole time. Can you imagine how defeated a perfectionist would be the first or second time it is forgotten? Or if this was a goal you tried just because you saw it mentioned in a weight loss article and decided it was time to do something about that extra weight. Without the leading into it parts of weeks 1-3, this would be a great change that was 'too much, too soon' and most likely not a change that would stick.

The TCOY 30 Day Focus utilizes small periods of time, just seven days, to spend on a micro-goal. With the micro-goal changing week-to-week, the mind is less likely to become bored. It's also less likely to decide to quit due to the frustration of a missed day...because you have 4 different weeks to go for that beloved 'perfect result'! Using small wins, as in really easy changes, in the beginning also help to set up you up for success over the length of the goal. A goal that your more likely to finish and keep you engaged the whole time.

Other focus ideas:

Building A Better Sleep Routine
1 = Start a before bed routine (alerts your body to start getting ready to wind down for the day)
2 = Do your routine at a certain time each night
3 = Going to bed at a certain time (stage of tiredness would be even better for your body!)
4 = Waking at a certain time

Learning to Eat Breakfast
1 = Hydrating your body 1st thing in the morning (drink 8 oz. of water within 15 minutes of waking up)
2 = Eat a serving of 1 food group within 2 hours of waking up
3 = Eat a serving of 2 food groups within 2 hours of waking up
4 = Eat a serving of 3 food groups within 2 hours of waking up

These ideas are just to get your mind thinking about the powerful effect of small changes leading to a big result. If you think of other ideas, please share!

Also, please remember, nothing is a waste of time if you are doing something towards the area of your focus because even the littlest step is progress. Habits are built whether we are choosing them or not!

Our greatest enemy is ourselves, our perfectionism. You only fail if you never make the attempt. Are you ready?

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Start Your Day The TCOY Way

Spending one minute each day to focus on Taking Care Of You, which I call the TCOY 1 Minute Focus, goes hand-in-hand with my other favorite idea...Start your day the TCOY way.

Here are my favorite ways to start the day on a positive note by taking care of me...as well as a few new ideas that I found on 24 Ways to Brighten Your Morning at Reader'sDigest.com and intend to try!

Find the best sleep/wake routine for you. I am a night owl. However, for years I forced myself to go to bed at night at a certain time and to wake at a certain time in the morning...usually at the very latest minute to still allow time for getting ready to leave the house. This resulted in laying in bed at night for a long time, waiting for my mind to stop running from thought to thought and finally settle down enough to go to sleep. It also led to me fighting myself in the morning as even a few minutes of sleeping in led to rushed mornings.

Thank you Steve Pavlina for writing How to Become An Early Riser because that is where I found the strategy that works for me. "The solution was to go to bed when I’m sleepy (and only when I’m sleepy) and get up with an alarm clock at a fixed time (7 days per week)", says Steve. That is what worked for me as well.

Only recently and by accident did I learn tip #1 (Go to sleep with your blinds or curtains halfway open) on the Reader's Digest article. To have the sunlight from the window directly opposite my side of the bed streaming down on me is truly a wonderful way to wake up. I agree with the article, "...the natural light of the rising sun will send a signal to your brain to slow its production of melatonin and bump up its production of adrenaline, a signal that it's time to wake up."

Do your minimum personal care routine every day.
Here is my minimum, 'nothing-fancy' personal care routine:

* Brush my teeth
* Apply Day Solution (for sunscreen), moisturizer (for moisturization and free radical protection) and lip balm (again with sunscreen)
* Brush my hair; leaving it down or put into a ponytail

Here are more ideas from 24 Ways to Brighten Your Morning:

2. Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier. This way, you don't have to jump out of bed and rush through your morning. You can begin your morning by lying in bed, slowly waking up. (I actually wake 45 minutes earlier to give me time for a slow start and to have alone time in the morning!)

3. Stretch every extremity for 15 seconds. Try this even before you open your eyes. Lift your arm and begin by stretching each finger, then your hand, then your wrist, then your arm. Then move on to the other arm. Then your toes, feet, ankles, and legs. Finally, end with a neck and back stretch that propels you out of the bed. You've just limbered up your muscles and joints and enhanced the flow of blood through your body, providing an extra shot of oxygen to all your tissues. (I think this is a wonderful idea and have saved it for future use. Right now, both of our kids sneak into our bed every single night and there is no room for straightening out, let alone stretching.)

8. Cuddle with your kids. Few things are more stressful in the morning than waking up an overtired fifth grader or a snoring high schooler. Yet this is one of the few times you can catch your child still vulnerable. Sit on his bed and gently smooth his hair as you softly waken him. Or, if you're dealing with a very young child, lie beside him and gently hug him awake. Such a moment will send a quiet surge of joy through your entire day and will become all too rare in all too short a time. (I hate waking my kids, especially my son as he is Oscar the Grouch when he wakes up. However, the task is a whole lot more pleasant when I appreciate the beauty that is a sleeping child. I stroke their hair, face, arms, back, etc. as I quietly talk them into getting up. It definitely creates a positive interaction through touch in an otherwise unpleasant task.)

14. Check your morning calendar. This is the large calendar or white board you've hung in a prominent position in your kitchen. On it, you write everything you need to know for that particular day, from kids' activities to whether the guy is coming to service the furnace to whether it's time to pay bills. Check it out carefully while you sip that first cup of coffee or morning tea; it will help you structure your day in your mind and avoid the stressful effects of forgetting something important. (Through FLYing for over 8 years by following FlyLady's method, checking my calendar at night and in the morning is already routine.)

16. Drink eight ounces of water. You've been fasting all night and you wake each morning dehydrated. (Excellent reason to do this! This is a new idea for me and I'm willing to give it a go.)

17. Create a checklist for your kids. If you don't have kids, skip this one. But if you do, this is a biggie. To cut down on morning chaos, hang a white board in the hallway or kitchen and list all the things that must be done before the kids can leave: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get backpack together, make bed, and so on. Have them check off or erase each item once it's completed. You can do the same thing with lists printed out from your computer. Set a consequence: If all items aren't checked off 5 minutes before you need to leave, there's no TV, PlayStation, dessert, or computer time that night. (This is a real sanity saver for me. My kids have been following a Morning Routine chart since they were 3 years old. Though they still get sidetracked in the morning, at least I don't have to remember to remind them of what to do while getting ready myself. They just check their list...which is updated as they grow.)

18. Keep a wicker basket for yourself and each child by the front or back door. Into it go your keys, wallet, purse, and the child's backpack, papers, gloves, hats, etc. This will prevent that frantic last-minute scouring of the house as you look for lost items. (Another awesome idea I'd highly recommend. We have what I call out-the-door baskets for putting bigger stuff that routinely goes out with us, like backpacks and my purse, and for the irregular stuff that I might forget to take with me if it wasn't there in plain sight, like something I need to take when I go to a friend's house for a visit, etc. On the opposite wall of our entry, I have a cabinet meant for DVD's that holds our keys, cell phones, phone chargers and some decorative items.)

21. Prepare an emergency outfit in your closet. Include socks, jewelry, hose, etc., so on those mornings when you sleep through the alarm or simply need an extra 10 minutes, you can just pluck it off the hanger and go. (Again, with FLYing and developing an Evening Routine, I don't have much need for this one. However, there are times when I get sidetracked while putting together the outfit, so it doesn't get done, and wouldn't ya know the next morning I accidentally sleep in or, occasionally, I just don't feel like wearing what I chose the night before. I might put one together and see if it would be helpful sometime.)

24. Kiss all the people you love in your house (including the dog and cat) before you leave. Connecting with the ones you love soothes stress and provides you with a positive start to your day, as well as keeping you focused on what's really important says therapist Barbara Bartlein, L.C.S.W., author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 125 Strategies for a Happy Marriage. (Dog and cat? Eww. Anyways, the rest is good for the human members of our family. Before leaving home base to go out into the world, I think it's very important to connect with those you love. Besides starting your day on a happier note, I also am one of those kind of people that think "You never know what could happen" and I want my last interaction with the person to be of love.)

For every one of us, there is some sort of time spent between waking up and beginning our 'work' for the day. Regardless of whether that work is as a stay-at-home parent who performs 20 jobs per day or as an adult that goes out into the world and contributes to whatever, it makes no difference. We all go from the resting state to our daytime productive state with time flowing in the middle.

Our mornings affect the entire rest of our day. Find a way to start it off by Taking Care Of You and you will be amazed at the positive effect on your life.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!


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My Best Tip for Housework Motivation

As a child, the year 2010 and later held such wonder and promise of better things that I was sure we'd have self-cleaning houses by now. As you well know, although we've had numerous advancements in lifestyle, technology, etc, the self-cleaning house hasn't been made widely available to us all just yet. Darn!

So, here is my best tip for working with yourself, not against yourself to find the motivation you need to keep doing the honorable task of taking care of those who live within your home (you included!) by taking care of the home.

Take a picture!

First, take a picture of an area that you are willing to clean at this time. The best areas are the ones that need your attention the most right now. For example:

* The area that a person first sees when they enter your home (i.e. outside entry, inside entry, the first room in the house);
* The room you/family are in the most (the room that our home's occupants use most should always be the most welcoming, in my opinion); or
* An area that has been in this state for quite awhile but the procrastinator in you has won out and not taken care of business.

Then, have at it. I know, I know, I haven't showed you the motivation part yet but we'll get there. Right now it's time to clean the area, so that you can learn something from the experience and that will be the part that feeds the motivation the next time.

Onc
e your done, take another picture or several!

Now pretend it's a later date and you aren't feeling that motivated, whether it's day-to-day cleaning or tackling a larger project. Time to pull out your photos and use the 'before-and-after effect' for your motivation.

No matter which you choose to look at first, look at a photo and feel yourself in that environment. Imagine you are coming in to your home, after work or after running errands. Imagine you are welcoming someone in to your home. Imagine that your family is there; what are you all doing?

The photo will bring out true feelings and there is nothing wrong at all if the after photo doesn't motivate you. However, maybe it does. Does it remind you of something nice you were told by your husband or a guest? Do you remember having the space available to play on the floor with your kids and make some warm memories? Do you remember coming into the room and feeling happy to be home, as if your home was welcoming you?

There is something about seeing your space differently; through the camera's eye instead of your own as it were. Maybe, it's because we've put ourselves in the place of someone else and seen the space through these 'new eyes' or because we've identified the quality of life that is being lived in that area and want it to, of course, be the best possible.

A special note for Perfectionists...

As a recovering perfectionist, I've learned that nothing motivated me more than turning a really dirty area into a clean one. It took me a long time to realize this about myself but, when I did, it made perfect sense. The thrill of transforming the area and making it shine was what derailed me from keeping up with housework! Instead, I tended to wait until it was 'dirty enough to clean'...which was my way of actually getting a reward for my work (the dramatic change I unknowingly craved).

Sadly, 'beautifully clean' only lasts for a short bit and it takes much more time for the house to get 'dirty enough to clean'. When I became aware that my perfectionism was forcing my family and I to have to live this way, it was a bit of a shock. With time, I learned to trick my mind into cleaning more often by using a photo as a reminder of the 'beautifully clean' look. After all, that is what I wanted most...not the hours of work it took to change it from really bad to really beautiful.

This is when I personally learned about the 'before-and-after effect' and its power to motivate. First, I took a picture of an area that I had worked so very hard to clean. I wanted to start myself off slowly, and more forgivingly, so I never took 'before' pictures. I think I had taken enough of those mentally to last me a lifetime!

Later, when I was feeling a very strong urge to procrastinate doing anything regarding cleaning (because I didn't have time, I wasn't in the mood, etc), I would try to remember to look at my 'after' photo. I admit, in the beginning it didn't do much to motivate me in the moment and, eventually, the perfectionism monster talked me out of cleaning.

The best part, though, is that I used these times to gain awareness. Every day that I thought about cleaning, I would make note on my calendar; a smiley face if I did at least 15 minutes of effort or a sad face if not. I began to realize that even if I didn't clean immediately after seeing the photo, later that day I would! It was like the best of both worlds; I got to procrastinate and 'do it later'...and later ended up being sooner rather than never. The photo represented what I wanted most and I knew it. The key was to find a way to work with who I am and not force the issue. My "inner brat" would clean when she wanted to and not when being 'forced' to, that is!

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Lady Taking Picture
Photo Credit: Pile of Pictures

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Choose to Think Positive

The Quote to Reflect Upon for June was "As you think, so shall you become." I recite this to myself when I'm leaning too far to the negative side of life. I don't believe that I control life, though I do control my own thoughts...and I believe quite firmly that it's important to choose to think positive. Choosing to think positive will actually cause you to feel and act more positive, if you let it.

From My Life's Work:

Our thoughts and words have tremendous creative power in them...

It would be prudent for all of us to ensure that we have a very clear, concise and organized positive mindset. We have to treat our thoughts as if they will manifest themselves, because they always do!
From Law of Attraction Lifestyle (note: I'm not advocating the theory...I just appreciate the truth in the following thoughts.):
In a nutshell, the law of polarity states that nothing can exist in our world without its direct opposite.

...Understanding this principle allows us to make sense of all of our experiences by knowing there is an opposite present in everything that happens in our life. And this 'opposite' presents us an opportunity to experience the good in what happens to us.

Within every problem there is a solution. Within every failure there is a success. Within every heartache there's a joy. You must raise your 'awareness' to look for the answers when a problem presents itself or you experience a failure or loss.
Don't Survive, Thrive!
I will admit that, in its most basic essence, thinking negative has been beneficial to our survival. We fear what will happen to us and our progeny tomorrow, thereby aligning ourselves with that fear of the unknown to attempt to minimize whatever bad stuff the day may bring.

We think about...

...hunger. (spending our money on more food than we require to sustain life; especially true for many of us who lead very low activity or sedentary lives)

...financial instability. (saving money for a rainy day)

...scarcity. (feeling unsatisfied with life because we are wanting more, bigger, better)

...death. (promoting "living like there is no tomorrow")

Survival is good, yes. However, thinking positive allows you to experience more without needing to utilize the unsatisfactory experience of seeking more.

As I say to myself, "I don't want to just survive; I want to thrive".

Stay Focused On What You Want, Not What You Don't
Crazy enough, we humans believe that negative thinking will get us farther. An example of this is when we constantly think about what we do not want.

I don't want to get fat so I had better diet.
vs.
I will eat nutritious food. My body's needs will be in balance and there will be no extra to store.

I don't want to be tired tomorrow so I had better get to bed now.
vs.
My body is signaling that it's tired. I will stay tuned in to my body's needs and let it rest.

Thinking positive leads to positive action. Positive action is how we move forward. Taking Care of You is all about moving forward.

Kinda simple how that works out. ;-)

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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If Mom Uses Your Middle Name, You Know You Are In Trouble

Just thought I'd play along with a meme Jo-Lynne posted over at Musings of a Housewife and share a bit about my two most favorite people in the world, Evanator and Avalicious. Otherwise known as my children, Evan Alexander and Avarie Julienne.

1. Do you have any cultural or religious naming traditions?

No.

2. Did you or your partner come to the marriage with pre-selected names?

I wanted to name my son A.J. -- not definite on the names but I did like Alexander Joshua. He would be tall (6 ft plus), handsome, semi-popular and a great team player on his high school football team. Yah, I know. Just a wee bit too much thinking about all that.

3. Did you consider the sound of the first and middle and last names together? Did this make any sad eliminations?

You bet. Even though the middle name is rarely heard, it had to flow between the first and last, especially if they were in twubble and I called them by their first 2 names or, if in really bad twubble, and I used all three. That's how it was when I was a kid anyways. I also made sure the initials didn't spell anything odd or that would bring taunting nicknames to mind. No eliminations that I can recall.

4. Did you have veto powers?

My husband brought nothing to the table and vetoed almost every name I could think up. And I'm talking 10's of names.

5. Did the baby naming cause arguments?

Much frustration, yes, but no arguments. We had to start choosing names pretty early because I knew it would take a long time to actually agree on one. For my son's middle name, he actually didn't like it but couldn't think of anything else. He gave it conditional approval (because it was obviously my favorite name), meaning he could still bring something to the table. I told him that when I went into labor, time would be up. I still remember driving to the hospital, holding my belly and saying "Almost time to see you Evan Alexander!" Just to let you know, the name has grown on him and he likes it.

6. Do you think it is easier to name boys or girls?

For us, boys. My husband likes very average names and I like unique names. It's easier for me to limit the possibilities for a boys name because, overall, I think society doesn't like unique names for boys. But, for a girls' name, I could create 10 for every boys name I could think up.

7. Did you eliminate names because of people from your past or present who you don’t like or because a certain image comes to mind.

Me, no. Husband, yes. A.J. was vetoed because he said that he doesn't like initials. Probably true. However, I think it was mostly because my high school crush was named Josh. I told him I wasn't firm on that middle name and said "Let's name him Alexander J-- and not use initials", since my husband's first name begins with a J. Nope, no deal.

8. Did you / would you survey your children to get their thoughts on the name?

My son was 2 at the time and not much help. I did make sure he could say her name though. :-)

9. Did you tell people the name or possible names before the baby was born or were they “in the vault”?

We had enough to worry about just trying to find one we both liked, so we were too tired of the whole discussion thing to even talk about possibles with others. Once we were set on the name we did share it, though.

10. Did you use baby name books?

For my son, yes. By the time my daughter came around, it was my lists of made up names and Internet research only!

Now you know something about my little ones and even about my crazy obsession with unique, "made up" girls names. I know there are very few readers
of my little blog here but I'll just throw this out...I'd love to hear about your experience during the wonderful process of naming a new life, if you'd like to share!

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You?
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Quote to Reflect Upon (Oct09)

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life...The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

-Charles R. Swindoll

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

____________________________________________________________________

Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You?
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You should follow me on twitter for even more good stuff about Taking Care Of You. Click here and see for yourself!

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Leave a comment and let us know. And be sure to add yourself to the guestbook on the right...so I can check you out on twitter!

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