TCOY Check-Up

In the realm of taking care of ourselves, there are a variety of different yardsticks to determine how we are doing.

  • Are we nourishing our body physically with a balanced diet and adequate water intake?
  • Do we provide ourselves with time for rest and regeneration?
  • Are our emotional and mental well-beings as well taken care of as our outsides?
  • Is self-care genuinely being shown through our actions?
  • Can we describe our life as balanced, fulfilled and worthwhile?
Recently, I came across a Self Care Quiz that provided super simple feedback. I admit, to my chagrin, that I had to face facts again that I'm still not doing well in certain areas. That's alright, slow and steady progress is being made to improve these "inadequacies". I am actually super amazed at the progress I have made when I reflect upon where I am today in comparision to where I began!

So, here are my results. Ready to show yours?

My Score = 32

30-39 You know how to take care of yourself. Now to do it consistently. Here is an Excel checklist you can use to track your daily self-care. Feel free to add or remove actions to suit your personal needs.

Below are the areas where I am currently growing. These are my "weak points" and show that I am not perfect at this important task of taking care of myself. If you are strong at math, you can guestimate that most of my other results were in the 4-5 range. Overall, I'm doing pretty well and feel proud of myself!

1 pt =
  • I exercise at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes. (I do not like doing "regular" exercise, not one bit.)
  • I love my haircut, my nails look great and I love everything in my wardrobe (I always find it hard to make the time to spend money on myself.)
  • I get together with a friend at least once a month and enjoy hobbies regularly (I could blame my friends because they are always too busy to make the time for themselves as well and join me! LOL)
2 pt =
  • I take care of my body by getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night (not a problem), brushing and flossing my teeth twice a day and eating at least 5 fruits and vegetables a day.
I encourage you to find out "How good are you at taking care of yourself?" Hopefully, you will see that you are indeed doing well. And, maybe, you will receive gentle reminders of those areas that still need your attention for improvement. That's OK.

What I do want to stress is that this isn't a grade on a test you are talking about; it's your life! All the wishing in the world isn't stronger than a single action step. I have tremendous faith in you. You are growing your inner awareness and learning to focus on Taking Care of You...
because you can do it better than anyone else. Now is the time to determine your weaker areas and take action!

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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3 Amazingly Simple Steps for Clearing the Clutter

There are probably as many ideas for how to deal with our clutter as there are countries in the world. Just listening to the latest guest organizer on a talk show, reading the numerous organizing books in the self-help section of your favorite bookstore or doing a Google search on the subject alone is enough to overwhelm us. And that's before we have even taken a single action step towards doing the work of clearing our clutter.

Over on the 365 Days of Decluttering Challenge blog, I've outlined the 27-17-7 method of decluttering. These are the 3 simplest steps for clearing the clutter that I know about, other than hiring out the whole process that is.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Keeping the Balance With Those Quality Relationships

Taking Care Of You is important. Is it more important than taking care of those you care about? No, it is not. Keeping the balance is one of those things we long to achieve, yet find it hard to do.

Remember those quality relationships I mentioned previously? Developing stronger, more positive quality relationships with those you care about is a key component in Taking Care Of You. "Really?", you may say.

Take a moment to think about this. How do the actions and words of another cause you to feel? How do your actions and words cause others to feel?

They can cause a myriad of feelings, dependent on many different factors. We interpret these actions and words based on more than just "on the surface" type indicators like words chosen, voice pitch, etc. At a deeper level, we notice nonverbal communication cues like body posture, eye contact and facial expression. For those of us who very aware of ourselves, we also begin to realize that our feelings develop from factors we can't put a name to so easily, i.e. conditioned responses and learned behaviors.

It's very true that no one makes us feel a certain way, yet it's very difficult to not let those same instances cause us to react rather than respond. Especially when it comes to a negative interaction.

We are interconnected, especially when it comes to close family relationships. Such as parent and young child, adult child and parent, and husband and wife. Or as Mary Ann Crosno put it so well on SimpleMarriage, "Our need for relationships creates the human paradox - we need enough togetherness to survive and enough separateness to thrive."

Many times during interactions with those who fill quality relationships in our lives we will need to ask ourselves "Am I reacting or responding?"
Say, if you've become short-tempered with your child or spouse. Is my child trying to embarrass me or am I reacting to their tantrum in this public place? Did my husband put this here to make me angry or am I reacting to the fact that it is here?

If you answer reacting, it's OK to do a restart. Just realizing what you are doing is extremely effective towards changing the perceived reality. The next step is "What will I do about it?"

The first thing is to slow down--slow your heart rate if it's racing, slow your mind if it's churning with thought after thought and slow your feelings, because they probably haven't been provoked by positive reactions. Next, take a slow look around. See, life is still going on. It is OK.

When you have relaxed yourself, it's time to go back to the source. If we can make the shift from victim to navigator of the quality of our experiences, we can start to work with the energy of the emotion.Take responsibility, soften the "me against you" feel and reconnect with the situation in a responsive, and most importantly, positive way.

If you are talking with someone, let them know you realize that you are reacting to _____ (fill-in with "what you are saying", "what you did", etc.) and that you will start responding to them instead. For example, if you have been interrupting them either out loud or even in your own mind, after the above statement add "Please continue. I will be listening." Saying it out loud clues them in to your emotional change and helps you to focus your awareness into a more positive interaction of responding.

Try it. Let us know how you face these situations and what works for you to bring yourself back to responsiveness.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Utilize Money To Enhance Life

An important aspect of taking care of yourself is to utilize money in such a way that it enhances your life, not detracts from it.

The quote to reflect upon for this month was Trent Hamm's response to a reader letter submitted to The Simple Dollar in a post titled "Life Advice to a Graduating College Student".

As Trent offered later in the same article, "The more relationships you have, the more money you have, the more skills you have, the easier it’s going to be to follow your heart. If you don’t do these things and take the easy path, you’re going to find yourself throughout your life being tied down to your circumstances, watching great opportunities pass you by, and that will leave you with nothing but regret."

Logically, we know we should use money to create security and safety. However, we are not always completely logical beings. The complex mixture of life experience, expectations and whatnot can, and does, lead us to handle money in a more emotional way. When this is recognized, it is possible to begin to use that emotional base to help lead us.

How To Utilize Money In Taking Care Of You
The first step is to learn the important difference between needs and wants.
  • It is necessary to provide for basic human needs that money can buy, such as subsistence (food, clothing, shelter).
  • Next in line of the hierarchy of needs is to satisfy the need for security and safety. It is necessary to set aside an adequate amount in savings to provide for all of your (and your family's) needs, now and in the future.
After that, it becomes a lot grayer in terms of what you need vs. what is actually a want.
  • Need paper & pen to express creativity or aid in earning income? Yes, probably. But at what level does it become a want? When is a certain paper & pen not adequate and you need that other one?
  • Need electricity, transportation, computer access? Many humans live just fine without them...though they are most definitely over-classified as a need by this human. :-)
On to step two. By now, you've probably realized that most everything above the level of basic subsistence and protection/security are wants. And that is OK. Wants are not inherently bad.

Rather than fleshing out when fulfilling wants (or even seeking fulfillment of them) becomes problematic, I'd rather focus on stressing the importance of creating balance. This is where utilizing money to enhance your life comes into play.

In its purest essence, money is a tool.
As you utilize money, find the balance unique to you alone that enhances your life and does not detract from your focus on taking care of yourself -- all parts of you. "It is said that people have unlimited wants, but limited resources. Thus, people cannot have everything they want and must look for the best alternatives which they can afford." (Wikipedia: Wants) It is key to recognize when the want is insatiable, e.g. always wanting a newer car than what you own, always wanting to have what another has, and so on.

Life fulfillment will come as your increased awareness guides you to utilize money in such a way that it enhances your life, not detracts from it.

By the way, if you haven't read Trent's writing over at The Simple Dollar, I highly recommend it. Trent understands the psychology of money; it's not simply a tool.
Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You?
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Is a question lingering on your mind? What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know.
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Quote To Reflect Upon (May09)


Follow your heart, always. Use your brain to give yourself as much security and safety as you can as your heart wanders.
- Trent Hamm, TheSimpleDollar


Until next time...Take Care Of You!


Photo Credit: Light Reflection

© 2009 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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Is a question lingering on your mind? What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know.

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